Mac and Cheese anyone
The naked issue where nobody is naked
The scene
In the window of a book store chain wishing the small cozy stores from yester years would still be an option.
It’s me looking out at a mall parking lot wishing it were a lively street with happy people strolling.
I am browsing through the newest “Flap” of “Attitude” staring at a group shot of a bunch of guys above the headline “ Keeping it real” with all their genitals covered with a colored banner over them with their name on it as if their penises had names and not them.
An older guy walks by not that I am young but as long as I see myself as younger there will be that kind of older than me guys
he walks by and stops in his tracks veers of his beaten path towards the coffee bar comes closer and stares with his mouth wide open exposing a set of fake yellow teeth.
There was nothing obscene to see but he gave me that look like how dare you to open a mag like this in public the look that exposes a mind brain washed into thinking that the naked human body is dirty evil imperfect or disgusting.
I stared back at him stared at his crotch which always irritates men as if their constantly worried that they are in adequate enough stared at his gaping mouth until he moved on with a gasp to keep getting caffeinated.
He was aghast that there was so much flesh to see and I was upset that not enough of the promised nakedness was visible.
That’s why I titled it “Mac and Cheese” to get your mouth watering thinking this is about food but it’s not.
The media knows how to trick us like a pony holding out carrots and then gives us the finger instead.
Puritanical values are exploited and liberal attitudes are manipulated to fit the tyranny of the day.
Not even a gay magazine that’s sold sealed behind a sterile cellophane sheet dares to do the political correct thing and show us in the nude as God willing as we are created.
There will be a penis in my next show and sex yes explicit sex in my new book because why are the Iranians protesting sacrificing their lives and livelihoods for a freedom that is no freedom but a wrapped package of extended rules just another self ruled set of limitations with a longer leash.
Wonderland for adults only it’s good not to be desensitized to my personal freedom a freedom
which includes a gentle madness but also nakedness in all its variations.
All my life I covered up because of my need for peace or some unspoken conventions undefined limits and un requited desires.
I look at red lips and dream of sexual organs ready to be explored. I think of touch and smell and taste of being alive within and outside my body belonging like the air that wraps around me every time I breathe engulfs me like glue that holds all things together.
I am a walking stimulus package consolidating data like an endorphin driven super computer with its radar on gay high alert.
My wound is my nakedness my need to escape the self inflicted limitations I copied from a stifled society that wants me to be unhappy like them.
Wants me to be a character in my own human play a desexualized hominoid but there is not enough fabric of lies to cover up my existence.
I built on this vulnerable frame of mine a layer of steely conviction and I dare to lay bare my souls dynamic wonder so others can come and join me in Wonderland the only place worth living in where nakedness is the rule and the fleshliness of humanity is celebrated.
Because we are born out of a bloody vagina and I dare saying that I am forever grateful for that.
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