Friday, July 17, 2009
PDX Art: when "Meaningful" becomes meaningless
What’s the meaning of it all or is it just plainly mean.
Recently I broke up with FB after a long 6 month of court ship with over a thousand dates of and on line. Sure I knew it was only an experiment a social net working Endeavour with a preset plug out date but secretly I hoped it would last for a life time at least a life cycle.
Now it still feels like prematurely aborted like you expected this fully grown Baby to emerge and all your parental instincts had already began to bloom and now there is nobody to dote over to cradle any more to teach and rectify to protect and to smother.
I know I am dramatizing in hind sight it’s like with graffiti especially when you see a good tag it gets you all sentimental and you think they are all just handicapped by society artists who can’t afford good paint and museum quality paper and have to make their mark on someone else’s home or business to make us aware of their plight.
Guilt is an easy weapon so some of my FB liaisons try to suckle me back into this web of deceit with its easy to consume bonbons of private history, its parfait of lurid details and its cocktail of communal exhibitionism like the food alcoholic who can’t frolic by himself but needs company like the parent who is unhappy with his life’s choices but still tries to superimpose his world view on his children.
Temptation comes in many forms and shapes like a mutating virus it infiltrates us and changes our behavior.
After only 18 hours, 43 minutes and 27 seconds I am showing already withdrawal symptoms and keep on going back to the FB site just to see if I am missing any important event or some new dirt on some ones relationship status.
Sorry for being such a cyber slot a pixel wuss a FB addict I guess that's what I am.
A friend of mine said and I mean a real one a live one that sits occasional across from myself and tells me how things are with me and how I have changed since I started this dangerous liaison with FB the one who says I told you so because he did because he knew better from his own experience and wanted to spare me the let down every addict goes through.
He said “the first step in the 12 steps is to acknowledge that you are an addict” than go to tell someone.
So that’s why we are here that’s what I am doing I am telling the world that I have become addicted to FB and that I am living this pipe dream that I have actual relations with these people/profiles and that I know them which of course is rubbish because they only show me what they have predigested as worthy for public viewing for whatever reason.
I didn’t go in there blindfolded and I knew the risks that I would fall hopelessly in love with FB but now I realize that I have been blind folded and cockadoodled and that I am still running around like a chicken without a head not knowing that FB beheaded me already.