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by Richard Schemmerer
Future self or I had a brief encounter with myself or Iam-revolution or shots in the dark
I am indulging in “annoyances and other tools for growth & comfort”
I hope that I am not to annoying at least I can hope but I sense a sense of sensibility that makes sense to my senses because I am the void that contains all possibilities I mean I found endless pleasure in myself like a river of quotes that float on past philosophies to stream back and forth between my conscious and my subconscious. Don’t think I am philosopher just because I can quote but because I try very hard to wring my brain for nuggets of truth valuable to the contemporary thinker so he can wring them one more time to find his own truth. I have a future vision that drives me no matter what and I know that to elevate the discourse I have to elevate the platform I am operating from. The same elements that I find in the future I find in the past and that can be a good thing if it’s the right elements and a bad thing if terrible habits are transferred on. I found thoughts I should have had yesterday still lingering in myself looking for the light of the day to be implemented. I found thoughts I should have had myself by watching others doing already what I had promised to myself.
How much does it cost to be happy, how many lolly pops does it take until I am satisfied. I am undertaking a study a research into my own being that one that was created though formal training societal pleasure and self inflicted self help self defense psychologies.
I dance because I don’t understand the Universe and because I am also a good guesser I guess at least as good as anyone I know. I am looking for a mosh pit to unleash my urban warrior to awaken my most basic instincts where I uncross my legs and let it all hang out.
Buddhism doesn’t interest me because it claims that we live in suffering, live to suffer. I don’t claim to have divine authority but I think life is as natural as it gets; nobody has to die for me to save me and I am not into promises of heavenly virgins either. I am just revolving around some thoughts people have thought up for the last couple of thousands of years. I am an idea, a complex one that has a body to its disposal to experience what’s possible on Earth.
After that I am going to be without a physical body but will live on in the memory of others until I am forgotten but maybe my writing or art work will spark interest and that spark will create a new fire.
I might even come back as a second chance, a second edition or a sequel, as block buster, a foot note or just an afterthought. I am the beginning, the patter that was broken to allow space to reconfirm its need for expression in new diverse forms.
I am busting my nuts to come up with alternatives to capitalistic power structures but the circumstances are not in my favor and karma seems like has closed its doors behind me and all I have left is the option, the potential to buy more of the same. There is no way either to buy my way out of it.
I can’t be surprised anymore because I played the game one too many times.
But life never looked more promising you might argue, the rich have never been richer and the powerful never had more ultimate power to influence all of us on planet Earth. It is good to be on top better than ever I agree but what do you look down at?
I am the revolution revolving around myself trapped with my memories and I am the salve to my knowledge. Part of me has been tamed and other parts have been turned into a beast one consuming the other. There are no winners in my house of soul.
I have not abandoned my free will only rented it out to the highest bidder until the market recovers and it’s time to sell out one more time because the only skills I have is to gamble with my life’s assets and the skill to breath and to smile fear in the face.
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